Al dente

More like ow dente! Toothaches are among my least cool pastimes... but let's back up a bit. (And settle in... I drone on and on.)

So last Sunday I felt a tooth starting to throb. Well, it's more like half a tooth; or is it even considered a tooth anymore? ... let's back up a bit more.

So... a few years ago, somewhere in the middle of my long history of dentist visits, I had a molar (first molar, top right) that had a big cavity. They placed a big filling smack in the middle, so that on either end of it were still remnants of actual tooth.

This held for a couple of years until that fateful day when I bit into a chicken drumstick. Aahhhhh!! Why, food, why? See, this is why I'm opposed to eating; I've simply been traumatized. So anyway, through no fault of the dear cook, one of the two tooth remnants came out. Fast forward several months. Chewing on an apple or something... out comes another piece. Fine, tooth bookends... I never wanted thee.

That left a nice centrepiece filling, with gaping holes on either side to catch food. Very handy... if you're a rodent that rhymes with ipmunk. This centrepiece was apparently unstable as it just kind of hung there by an anchor for a while till it came out several months later while flossing. See here for a refresher.

So finally the visible part of the tooth was completely out. The entire root was still there, but the stump wasn't sensitive at all, so no problem. And no rush to see a dentist.

But I've had enough tooth issues to know it would become a problem some day. That day was Sunday. Bit of throbbing, accompanied by a headache.

Monday: Somewhat worse. Enough to complain about, but not enough to warrant seeing a dentist. Pulled out all the drugs we we have, to see what kind of cocktail I can come up with.

Tuesday: OWWWW BRUTAL!!! Good thing Carrie was away on business, because the occasional bouts of flailing and yelling may have given her second thoughts about wanting to be around me. You know, when something hurts like the dickens and any distraction is welcome? Jumping jacks, smacking jaw with fist, pirouetting deliriously around the room... whatever works. Unfortunately none of that worked. Neither did the drugs I tried. Stupid daily maximums! And you can't mix certain medications! Not things I wanted to learn in such a situation.

In the past I've tried various home remedies like ice packs or cloves or rum (for swishing, not drunken stupors). I tried other things this time and the only thing that worked was plain old water: swish some cool water over the area and the pain was gone instantly... for about a minute. Then more cool non-saliva-laden water was required. Might I just say that swishing a gulp of water every minute indefinitely really tries one's patience (I kept it up for over 10 hours). Oh, and use a second container as a spit cup. I figured this out after drinking for a number of hours and taking far too many bathroom breaks.

I couldn't go anywhere without water. If I ran upstairs to do something and that magic minute ran out, I'd come barreling down the stairs for that next gulp. (I sound like an addict.) Most unpleasant.

At bedtime I decided to try NyQuil, which has a good track record of helping one sleep as well as overcome pain. The sleep part worked well, but the painkiller did not. So I lay there for hours, swishing water and getting sleepier. Sometimes I'd swish, fall asleep within the minute, only to wake up again dying with pain; on occasion I'd forget to spit and I'd wake up choking on my mouthful of water. Good times...

At some point I slathered toothpaste on the area, hoping it would work as a topical anesthetic. It must have helped because I managed to fall (and stay) asleep somewhere around 4am.

Wednesday: Much better. No swishing necessary. Still a severe ache, but compared to the previous day it was bliss, like sitting on a tropical beach eating endless yogurt and watching kittens frolicking. Wait -- I don't even like beaches. Or kittens. But yogurt... MMMMM.

I kept on a steady diet of meds, switching between ibuprofen and acetaminophen; I'm not convinced either works better than the other for toothaches. Toward late afternoon I was talked into seeing a dentist. So, against my better judgment, I set up an emergency appointment for the following day (hardly sounds emergencyish if they can't even see you same-day). Of course, chances were that the worst was over and I'd be fine in a day or two. I've had toothaches before and running to the dentist has never been my first course of action; the aches generally subside in a matter of days and things are good for a few months.

Thursday: Woke up with even less pain. Went to the dentist anyway. He agreed with me that the worst was likely over, so let's pull the tooth next month. Five minute dentist visit: $143. Wife's dental coverage: priceless. Well, it didn't cover the whole thing, but it helped.

Friday: Down to a dull ache. No meds necessary. Actually yesterday the pain moved away to the last molar in the upper right; any pressure really kills, but that's simple: don't apply pressure (i.e., don't eat). At least I can be productive again.

I rather hate teeth.