ESL: English as a simple language
Since Diana (my eldest sister) loves inspecting my published works, it's a good idea to give her something to inspect (and I better not mess up this one.) There's precious little chance that I'll get a mistake by her (misplaced punctuation, mispelled words, etc.), although if I try hard enough I might succeed. Let's reserve judgement for now.
Diana is a farmer's wife, though I can't affirm that she knows much about husbandry. I don't really need to discuss whence she hailed prior to living in Ontario. Suffice it to say, whether she is from Smithers, Houston, or even from the Netherlands, she hasn't always been completely aware of the geography around her. Rumour has it she once identified the Skeena River (the third longest river in B.C.) as being in Florida. If such a gross error was commited by you or me, we would never forgive ourselves. Does she think that the Northwest Territory is an American state? I wonder where she thinks Saint John, Newfoundland is?
What effected this interesting ineptitude in geographical detail? At the center of this phenomenon might be the fact that she had less years in our alma mater, Ebenezer. I went there 12 years; I think she went maybe 8.
Maybe I'm not being fair. Maybe I should put up with the big sister trying to be a big sister. She only corrects me to able to have one up on me. But that's alright; it's an almost imperceptable flaw in her otherwise perfect, albeit idiosyncratic, character.
Right now we're staying at my parents' place (neighbouring Diana), but after she's finished tearing this post to shreds I may wish to slink away to some other people's house in shame, if only to put some physical distance between me and my sister the ELP (English Language Policewoman)!
So, Diana, can you find more than a dozen errors in this post? I don't doubt you'll get plenty of help.
if i dare say, this is one of your better blogs...i'll have to remain anonymous, for fear of retribution. and i'm quite pleased with the sudden amount of bloggery. something to keep all of us busy in our otherwise busy lives. seems to me that Diana may as well keep her own blog. Clarence seems to think she has no time for that, but her actions prove otherwise...:P
ReplyDeleteJust give me some time...
ReplyDeleteo.k. that's it. no more lively discussions. i'll just make boring positive comments from now on. here's the first.
ReplyDeletegood blog, Andrew. keep up the good work.
diana
What a cop out, Di!
ReplyDeleteGreat. I eat humble pie, and it's considered copping out. I carry on and get called a loser. I'm starting to get serious psychological problems. Which me do you want!?
ReplyDeleteOkay you're off the hook. Dr. Phil was busy this week anyway. But c'mon people, this post didn't write itself. How hard can it be to comment on what you think some of the errors are?
ReplyDeleteok you asked for it.
ReplyDelete1.that would be FEWER years, not less years.
2. I don't correct to have one up on you, it's for your well being, so you'll learn to write properly.
3. your second last paragraph comes close to being a run-on sentence.
4. Entirely too many parentheses!
5. Paragraph 2-the first two sentences have no relation to each other. your second one should be backing up your first.
6. second last paragraph-that would be my sister and me-if you'd quit putting yourself first...
7. I attended Ebby for 10 years, not 8. get your facts straight!
8. first paragraph-"good idea" being a matter of opinion. get your facts straight, boy!
9. last sentence of first paragraph-wasted words. should be more relevant to topic.
10. "committed" generally has two "t's"
11. paragraph 2- WERE committed would actually be better than WAS committed-you're talking about more than one, no?
AND # 12... MISPELLED is spelled incorrectly; it needs another 's'.
How's that for your dozen errors?
(Yup, you might want to live somewhere else for a while!)